Libido

  Together is my favorite place to be….

 Libido – sex drive – Is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. Libido is influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors. 

Technically, libido can be defined as psychic energy: urges and impulses that come from the psyche, or mind.

Libido responds to a lot of different stimulus. Without this anergy that our conscious mind interprets as desire, sex doesn’t happen.

Libido is very fragile!

If you are distracted, tired, stressed or sick, your mind tends to send this form of psychic energy away. You mind will say: don’t think about sex, even when you don’t want it to. Our level of libido depends on what we have been taught about sex, how successful and pleasurable our most recent sexual experiences have been, our level of stress, how many distractions are in our environment…

It’s can become a problem in you relationships when you mind is focusing on other things and you partner is ready for action!

Libido is usually very strong at the beginning of a relationship ( it’s a part of evolutionary mechanism of reproduction) —it’s the glue that bonds you together, but it tends to settle down to a lower level about six months to two years later.

It is very common for partners to have libido levels that differ from each other. There is nothing you can do to change your partner’s libido, there are ways both of you can work together to get your needs met.

People’s level of libido is individual, variable, and completely normal. It is only a problem if it causes you distress and you feel that you want to change it. But if you are fine with how you are and it works for you, then you are normal, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Some studies proved that people with a “low” libido have a very difficult time changing that level and it has stayed the same for their whole adult lives. In situation like that, it may be better to learn to adapt and except how you are, rather than struggle to change it.

It’s possible to enjoy pleasurable sex without having a strong libido. As Rosie King, MD writes: “Desire and arousal are two separate components, and are run by different parts of the brain … it is much easier to be turned on if you start with a high level of desire. But even if initially you feel sexually uninterested, if your partner helps to warm you up … you can enjoy a very pleasurable sexual experience … including high levels of arousal and orgasm.”

But, if you want to manage and increase your libido, here are some things you can do:

Start with your body!

Ask yourself!!! 

Do you feel attractive? Do you feel sexy? Do you feel healthy? Feeling good about yourself, about your body is important to your libido. 

Studies found that women with sexual dysfunction endorse more dysfunctional cultural beliefs related to the importance of body image.

Spend time helping yourself feel good in your skin, you should feel sexy to yourself first of all. Exercise, take a relaxing bath, a massage or some stretching can help you feel more alive and connected to your physical self. Put on a beautiful lingerie every day, it will help you feel sexy.

Remember, you are sexy, regardless of what shape or size you are!

Get your mind working with your body! 

Allow yourself to think positive sexual thoughts throughout the day, conjuring up fantasies, remembering past sexual experiences, and envisioning the sex you’d like to enjoy.  Erotic books and movies are available to help you expand your fantasies and nurture your arousal.

Focus on giving and receiving pleasure. Let yourself fantasize before and during sex. 

Don’t concentrate on making your fantasies come true, instead, enjoy the wild sexual field trips your mind can take. Keep in mind that variety helps keep sex interesting and exciting. 

Having good sex makes you want more sex.

Building your own history of pleasurable, comfortable sexual experiences will encourage your libido to grow.